Bills 40, Broncos 14

Last week, the Onion Sports Network had an article called "Jesus Says Tebow Will Never Make it as a Starting NFL Quarterback". Jesus, who apparently has considerable football knowledge, was quoted extensively throughout the article on Tebow's slow throwing motion and poor technque on certain kinds of passes. He concluded by saying, in reference to Tebow's chances of being a long term starting NFL quarterback, that "it's never going to fuckin happen".

The Onion publishes a weekly Canadian version which is available in hard copy at the Coffee Time down the street from me. The most recent issue was entirely focused on sports and, in addition to the Tebow piece, featured articles entitled "Tiger Woods Wonders if he Should Tell People He's Still Getting Laid" and, beside a photo of Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith wearing his headset on the sidelines, "Bears Coach Says Voices in Headset Keep Calling him an Idiot".  I love the Onion. The most fun job I can imagine would be as a staff writer for them.

Bengals wide receiver Jerome Simpson made a spectacular play on Saturday by leaping up and over an oncoming defender, turning exactly 360 degrees in the air - literally head over heals - and landing with both feet just inside the goal line for a touchdown. As Chris Berman said, he "stuck the landing better than Mary Lou Retton". Then he showed a split screen of Simpson's touchdown and Mary Lou Retton doing a vault with both of them sticking the landing at the same time. Simpson was drafted in 2008 out of little known Coastal Carolina and has only 66 catches in his NFL career. That could explain why he might want to diversify his sources of income. This past September, Kentucky police must have been thinking the same thing as they intercepted a package addressed to his house which contained two and a half pounds of marijuana. They then found another six pounds in the house but, according to three different reports I read, no charges were laid. I would think that after Simpson's gymnastic touchdown which has probably earned him a place on the all-time NFL highlight reel, the investigation should now be closed.

The Bills Christmas Eve victory over Denver was their first on American soil since October 9th. CJ Spiller had his best game as a pro, gaining over 100 yards for the first time and generating speculation on WGR that his success only helps the Bills in their negotiations with Fred Jackson. Let's hope that they recognize that Jackson has earned a new contract and that they think in terms of the goal being to have them both next year. And they need to sign Stevie Johnson too. And draft an edge rushing linebacker.

On Thursday December 22nd, my cousin Pete and I paddled around our lake in Muskoka. There was ice in the small bays and along the north facing shoreline but the lake was 75% open. Not a trace of snow either. We would have been skiing and chopping open our ice hole by this time in almost any other year. The fall of 2011 has lasted a full month longer than normal and I'm ready for winter.